I was talking to a friend of mine a few years ago ( who happens to be a very wise woman ) about the fact that I was tired of life being such a struggle, full of disappointments, and basically just so difficult, at times.    I had recently lost several good friends  – most in their 40’s – to various things, such as heart attacks, and cancer.  A close relative had a stroke, and a couple others were ill, as well.  I was unhappy with the job I was at, and tired of the routine – working hard to try and pay the bills, and having little time or energy left over for much else.

     I told her that I didn’t feel very hopeful at the time, since I was surrounded by so many sad things.  I felt as though I couldn’t cry any more, and it just didn’t feel like there was much to look forward to.

     Earlier that day, as I was walking to her place to visit her, the sun was shining on my face, and it made me feel kind of giddy. ( I love the feeling of the warm sun on my skin – it always makes me feel good. )  When I told her that, she looked at me seriously, and said ” All we have are moments “, and I didn’t quite “get” what she meant, at first.  She was referring to the fact that life is not one long series of wonderful events without anything negative – that is not reality.  Life is hard – sometimes extremely difficult – but real joy comes from recognizing those ” moments ” that make us smile, make us feel good, make us laugh, whatever.

     We need to focus on those moments – even if they are rare, and brief – instead of all the other sad, disappointing , unfulfilling things in our lives.

     I remember telling her at the time that I only had those kinds of moments maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and she thought that was sad, if it were true.  She pointed out that the way the sun on my face made me feel was one, the way I felt when I was on a dancefloor, ( so free ) the feeling I got when a friend hugged me … and it started to sink in.

     It has been several years since that conversation, and many things have happened and changed in my life since then – both good, and bad – but I have come a long way in terms of how I view life.  Yes, life is still difficult, and things certainly don’t always turn out the way you think/hope they will, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it.  I am much better at recognizing the ” little things ” that often go unnoticed, or get taken for granted – the things that genuinely bring a smile to my face, or make me feel good.

     For me, it can be a breathtaking view from a cliff overlooking the water, after a long hike, or the feeling of a friend’s arms around me whom I haven’t seen in months.  It is anything that brings me joy, warms me, makes me smile for real – simple things, unplanned things.

     Life may not be everything we want it to be all of the time, but if we are open to it, pretty much every day has at least one ” moment ” worth noting.  Those are the times I now focus on, and enjoy – and it helps get me through the rest.