As I mentioned in my last Blog post, my producer Jarome Matthew has been away for a couple of months, travelling, and working with some other Pro Soul Artists.  Jarome always keeps in touch with me while he is away, letting me know what’s going on, and when he’ll be back in Vancouver.  Well, he’s home now, and we’re anxious to get me back in the Studio to record my next 80’s – inspired song.

     This next track we’re working on is a dance track, and I’m hoping we’ll get some airplay in some of my favourite Vancouver Clubs eventually.  The song was written by the incredibly talented singer/songwriter Darryl Kromm ( of Canadian Band Strange Advance ) and it will be our second time working with him on this 80’s project.  Darryl was kind enough to do backup vocals for me on my cover of Human League’s ” ( Keep Feeling ) Fascination ” a while back, and now he is allowing us to use one of his original songs that the public has never heard. We are thrilled ( and extremely grateful ) to be working with Darryl again, and very excited to have such amazing material to work with.

     Now that Jarome and his lovely wife Felisha are back from their travels, it’s just a matter of setting up a time that works with both our busy schedules  – I can’t wait to record this very cool song !  I will continue to rehearse it for the next little while, but am sure we’ll be in the Studio with it before Summer.  I’ll keep you posted.

          When people find out that I sing, they often ask me, ” Where can I get you music ? “.  Many people prefer to download their songs now, so everything I’ve recorded so far ( both the Jazz stuff, and the 80’s tunes ) can easily be found on iTunes. 

          If you would rather have an actual CD to play, and if you like Big Band/Swing/Lounge Music from the 1920’s – 1950’s, then CD Baby is where you can order my CD called “I’m Beginning To See The Light “.  There are not many copies left, so if you’ve been thinking about getting a copy of my very first CD, then the time is right …

           I am so grateful to all of you that have already purchased my CD, and/or downloaded some of my songs.  It really means a lot to me to have your support, and your feedback is always appreciated, as well.  Some people seem to like the older music best, while others dig the 80’s songs.  It is always great to hear what you like most, and why.  Please don’t hesitate to share your thoughts on my music – I’d love to hear from you !

          Right now, I am rehearsing a new 80’s style song, and will likely be recording it in the Spring, now that my Producer Jarome Matthew  is finally home from a busy trip away, working with various other Pro-Soul  Artists.  I am looking forward to getting back into the Studio and recording, as well as hearing all about Jarome’s trip, and all the amazing music he produced while travelling. 

          My last two 80’s songs were cover tunes, but the one we’re working on right now has never been heard by the general public, so we are very excited about it.  We’ll keep you posted …

     I was talking to a friend of mine a few years ago ( who happens to be a very wise woman ) about the fact that I was tired of life being such a struggle, full of disappointments, and basically just so difficult, at times.    I had recently lost several good friends  – most in their 40’s – to various things, such as heart attacks, and cancer.  A close relative had a stroke, and a couple others were ill, as well.  I was unhappy with the job I was at, and tired of the routine – working hard to try and pay the bills, and having little time or energy left over for much else.

     I told her that I didn’t feel very hopeful at the time, since I was surrounded by so many sad things.  I felt as though I couldn’t cry any more, and it just didn’t feel like there was much to look forward to.

     Earlier that day, as I was walking to her place to visit her, the sun was shining on my face, and it made me feel kind of giddy. ( I love the feeling of the warm sun on my skin – it always makes me feel good. )  When I told her that, she looked at me seriously, and said ” All we have are moments “, and I didn’t quite “get” what she meant, at first.  She was referring to the fact that life is not one long series of wonderful events without anything negative – that is not reality.  Life is hard – sometimes extremely difficult – but real joy comes from recognizing those ” moments ” that make us smile, make us feel good, make us laugh, whatever.

     We need to focus on those moments – even if they are rare, and brief – instead of all the other sad, disappointing , unfulfilling things in our lives.

     I remember telling her at the time that I only had those kinds of moments maybe 3 or 4 times a year, and she thought that was sad, if it were true.  She pointed out that the way the sun on my face made me feel was one, the way I felt when I was on a dancefloor, ( so free ) the feeling I got when a friend hugged me … and it started to sink in.

     It has been several years since that conversation, and many things have happened and changed in my life since then – both good, and bad – but I have come a long way in terms of how I view life.  Yes, life is still difficult, and things certainly don’t always turn out the way you think/hope they will, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy it.  I am much better at recognizing the ” little things ” that often go unnoticed, or get taken for granted – the things that genuinely bring a smile to my face, or make me feel good.

     For me, it can be a breathtaking view from a cliff overlooking the water, after a long hike, or the feeling of a friend’s arms around me whom I haven’t seen in months.  It is anything that brings me joy, warms me, makes me smile for real – simple things, unplanned things.

     Life may not be everything we want it to be all of the time, but if we are open to it, pretty much every day has at least one ” moment ” worth noting.  Those are the times I now focus on, and enjoy – and it helps get me through the rest.

     I have wanted to write a blog post about this topic for a while now, but wasn’t quite sure where to start.  I knew how I felt on the subject, but wasn’t sure how people may react to my point of view.  You see, I am not o.k. with an ” ordinary life “.  Being ” content ” would never be enough for me, nor would doing things the way everyone else does. That would just be boring.  I have never been a ” sheep ” that follows the crowd – I prefer to have my own thoughts.   I really believe that there must be more to life than the whole work-eat-sleep routine I have often referred to in my posts.  Existing is what many do – I would like to ” live “, and fully experience life, and all the joys it can bring.  Finding the key to doing that may be the tricky part …

     As I was reading the little local paper this morning, I glanced at my Horoscope, and was struck by what I read : ” For some people, living their dreams is not simply a nice idea, it is a duty.  You may be one such person. ”  Now, whether you believe in horoscopes or not, this expressed precisely how I feel.  It went on to talk about the fact that I should stop worrying about the ” how and why “, and that I should take some risks.  ( something I rarely do )  It also said ” as ready as you are to embark on an adventure, a few key things must change . ”

     This all made total sense to me.  I absolutely feel that life is too short and precious to waste doing things that bring you no joy.  Most of us, at some time in our lives, have had jobs that we go to just for the paycheque, just to try and pay the bills.  We may have absolutely no interest in our job, have no desire to go there, but we dutifully go, because ” that’s what everyone does “.  We tell ourselves, ” It’s not forever “, ” it’s a means to an end ” or a ” stepping stone “, but we all know those months turn into years, and next thing we know, we’ll be retiring, and wondering why we never tried anything that really interested us, or made us happy. Work is just one example of how we sell ourselves short in life, but you get my point.

     In the past 5 years, I have thought of the things I most wanted to do, ( make a CD, and meet my childhood crush ) and have gone out and made them happen.  It’s not always easy, and things don’t always turn out quite as you expect, but even having accomplished those 2 small things ( significant to me, though ) I now have proof that dreams can come true.   We all have things we would love to do, given the opportunity – often this would require a lot of money, and/or free time – so it rarely becomes reality.   For example, I would love nothing more than to be able to work on my music every day, to have the free time to dedicate to it, that is necessary to get anywhere.  I fantasize about how wonderful it would feel to not have to go to work every day to try and pay the mortgage, or worry about bills all the time. 

     I often wonder how the ” lucky ones ” feel – the people that are already doing something they truly love and are passionate about, and either have someone financially backing or supporting them ( so they don’t have to drain their time and energy with a ” day job ” ) or they’re already making a living doing what brings them joy.  I wonder if those rare few people really realize how fortunate they are, and that they are by far the exception to the rule.  Obviously, there are those that are handed things, but I think most people that are living their lives doing what they really want to have worked very hard to make it happen.  These people were not o.k. being ” content” , either – they wanted more, and after putting their minds to it, and being willing to put in the work, time, effort and dedication needed, made things happen for themselves.  They did not just sit around wishing for a better life – they did something about it.

     It always makes me sad when I see people who look like they are weary of life.  ( I have seen that in the mirror before – I certainly don’t pretend to be happy all the time )  I wonder what those people hoped for during their lifetime.  Were there exotic destinations they’d hoped to visit one day, did they want to be an Actor, but their parents discouraged them ?  I just feel that most people, for whatever reasons, don’t allow themselves to do the things that would make them happy.  We are our own worst enemies, for the most part.  We limit ourselves, put invisible ” roadblocks ” in our own paths.  It’s easy to say ” Life has dealt me a bad hand ” or whatever, and just not bother trying based on that, but everyone deserves better than that.  It is also easy to think others are better off than us, financially, socially, whatever, but until you live their lives, you don’t really know – it is just your perception of them.  Everybody has struggles, everyone has pain – nobody has a ” perfect life “, despite appearances.

     There are a lot of things in my own life that need to change before I will feel I have truly done all I can to realize all of my own goals/dreams.  I am working on it, but am fully aware that I have a long way to go.  Perhaps not every goal will be reached, and that’s alright, as long as I at least care about myself enough to try.  It’s time to stop with the excuses/reasons why I can’t /shouldn’t do things, it’s time to stop limiting myself, or feeling I am not worthy of real happiness.  This is not just about me – most people I know are not ” living ” their lives either, they are caught in a rut, a routine, what they feel is ” normal “, what we are “expected” to do.  I say that’s not good enough.  We were not given the gift of life so that we would be unhappy, exhausted, and complain all the time.  There has to be more to it, and it’s up to us to actually do something about it. 

     I plan on continuing to set goals for myself, and am hopeful that I may reach some more of them.  I don’t want to waste any more precious time.

     What would you really love to do?  What are you interested in, and without making any excuses, why aren’t you going after it with every fibre of your being ?  Living our dreams is not simply a nice idea – it is our duty, and it is the best gift we can ever give ourselves.  No regrets – no ” what if’s ” – no wondering – just be happy.  If we don’t try, we may never know …